I call the days when my brain gets yanked in every direction because I haven’t taken my ADHD meds or when they’re not being effective days that the squirrels are in control. And every. single. thing. grabs their attention. My photography is a lot like this too. Whether its some shiny piece of new kit, the work of a photographer I recently discovered, or even a genre…every new thing becomes a hyper-fixation. It is as counterproductive to improving as you can imagine.
In the past 6 months I’ve gotten into film….like a lot. I have the equipment to setup a full Darkroom in my garage, a wine bag of Xtol sitting in my office, and an ever growing collection of film cameras in various states of working. I’ve also bought books. Tons of them. From how-to’s to zines. Unsurprisingly None of its made me a better photographer.
But theres one thing I haven’t done in a long time – touch my mirrorless camera. It is because I hate the thing. I bought the Nikon Z7 II two years ago this month. For a while I used it non-stop. But I was never in love with it. Handling is weird, exposures often came out way different than I expected, and focus was a disaster.
Cue to today when I was talking to a friend about a way to get rein in the squirrels and focus on improving my vision and skills.
I had made up my mind to limit myself to 1 camera, 1 lens, 1 black and white film stock for the next 6 months. Eventually he asked why don’t I do this on digital. My instant gut reaction was I’d rather not shoot if its on that thing. WHOA! For the amount of money I’ve invested in the Nikon system, thats a pretty extreme take. Id rather give up photography than use that camera…A lot childish given there are untold masses that would jump on the opportunity to have what I have.
At the end of the conversation though it became clear to me…the camera I need to limit myself to is the Nikon. Not any one of my film bodies, but the useless pile of plastic and silicon that sits in my office. 6 months to fall in love with a camera I despise. I’m going to try to give it the fairest shake I can, but if I still rather quit photography than shoot it at the end of 6th months, I’m selling it